As I sat listening to the speaker address a room full of teenagers, I was mesmerized by his message. On the table before him were placed multiple types of crosses. A rugged six foot cross made from tree branches. A dainty necklace pendant. A table-top cross suitable for an executive desk. A bookmark with John 3:16 written on it. A decorative wall hanging with the name, Jesus, as the cross beam.
Referencing Luke 9:23, the speaker called the young people to pick up their cross and follow Jesus. One by one individuals from the audience came to the speaker, accepting the invitation with a desiring passion to pick up their cross. But when the speaker showed them which cross they had to bear – the one with their own name on it – none were willing to carry that cross. The petite girl wanted to wear the necklace, not carry the six foot cross; it was too heavy. The burly young man was hoping to muscle the big cross, but his name was attached to the book mark; he didn’t like reading. So one by one the individuals responded to the call, but they each wanted to pick their own cross. Each wanted to follow Jesus on their own terms.
And isn’t that where we live? We want to follow Jesus, as long as we set the conditions. We’re willing to give, but unwilling to sacrifice. We talk about forgiveness while harboring ill will toward individuals. We discuss submission scenarios while demanding our own way. We demand attendance to the assembly takes priority until it’s no longer prioritized in our lives; everything else in life takes precedent. We cry out for mercy, but demand justice when looking at others. We say we embrace humility while our pride stands in our way. We’ve convinced ourselves that we can gain the whole world and have Jesus at the same time. We’ll take up a cross as long as we get to choose which cross, when to carry it and where we’ll take it. When we do that, it’s not the cross we’re carrying, it’s just a shadow of the cross.
So the speaker continued his message, and refused to randomly hand out crosses that belonged to someone else. Fleshing out the Lukan context, he told us how Christ had to suffer and face a horrible death at the hands of the Jewish leadership. He then added the irony of those saving their lives will actually lose it, but those who lose their lives for Jesus will save it (Lk. 9:25). Jesus had to pick up his cross and he’s asking us to pick up ours. The speaker ended by reminding the audience that we don’t set the terms for discipleship, Jesus does.
I sat there enthralled by the message. Captivated. As a sixth grader I was still too young for the youth group. My presence at the assembly came because my home congregation was hosting the event and my mom was helping with the food. I sat on the floor next to mom as if I was sitting on the edge of a chair, soaking in every word being spoke. Some 40 years have passed but that moment is as clear in my mind as if it happened 40 days ago.
As the high school students rejected the cross, I remember thinking to myself, “I’ll carry it. I’ll carry the cross of Jesus! I don’t care what the cross looked like or felt like, I’m willing to carry any cross for Jesus.” That’s what was running through my mind, but something else was telling me that the message was preplanned. Those volunteering had rehearsed their roles to help drive home the speaker’s message. So I just sat there in my innocence, watching the events unfold before me. Secretly, I wanted to come forward to get my cross.
Sure enough, the same individuals relented and repented. One by one they came back to the speaker. Humbly and with contrition, they were willing to pick up the very cross that had their name on it. With broken pride, they claimed the cross Jesus wanted them to bear. They were now following Jesus, not on their terms, but on his terms.
While the messages ended with resolution, as it should, we live with the tension. Are we following Jesus on our terms or his? Maybe that’s why Luke adds the word “daily” (Lk. 9:23) to the charge to pick up your cross. For every day, and even every moment, we decided if our following Jesus is genuine or coming with conditions. One is substance. The other simply casts a long shadow on our discipleship.
Soli Deo Gloria!
(i.e., only God is glorified!)