Watching your children sleeping, seeing their faces light up when they open Christmas presents, and being the recipient of their unconditional love only touches the hem of joy a parent experiences. Cleaning up after a sick child, teaching them boundaries and correcting behavior tends to elevate the stress and the blood pressure in a parent’s life. Where we’d like to say that church attendance falls under the first category, the truth is it manages to fall under the latter category.
The worship service promises an uplifting experience; the saved are gathered, they commune at the Supper, songs fill the building with hope, and friends call each other “brother” and “sister.” Still, we rarely check our problems and struggles at the door. The burdens from the work-week are carried over into church. The loved one is still sick. COVID hovers over everything like a black cloud. The family arguments do not magically dissolve in the parking-lot. And children will challenge parental authority, even at church (e.g., try explaining to a two or three-year-old why they cannot have the “cracker” mommy and daddy are eating). Thus, the promise of an uplifting experience often dissipates into a frustrating, painful hour.
All of us as parents have experienced such frustrations. They seem to begin before leaving home as we try to feed, dress, and get the children ready for church; no doubt, the new outfit will have a spill on it before walking out the door. The worship hour seems ill-spent as the time is consumed keeping the children silent, still, and satisfied. Walking through the church doors is often filled with discouraging thoughts, wondering what was accomplished. And who experiences a meaningful time at the Lord’s Supper while trying to keep the children calm and subdued?
Sometimes we need to be reminded of the good we’re doing as parents. Perspective can help us view the situation differently or at least positively. But offering advice is like the young minister without children preaching a sermon entitled The 10 Commandments for Parenting. When he and his wife started a family, he changed the sermon to The 10 Suggestions for Parenting. And when his children reached the teenage years, he threw the sermon into the trash. Raising children is hard work with plenty of setbacks. With no manual in hand, easy answers do not exist.
Find peace in God’s grace. Few children will be the twelve year-old Jesus lost in Jerusalem only to be found at the temple. Actually most will push for their own identity while pressing the boundaries parents have set. It’s normal. Remember, if God were the “parent” for Adam and Eve, even he struggled to keep his “children” in line. So we continue shaping and molding their character by pointing them to Jesus.
Connect the dots between church and home. What happens at church needs further teaching, discussion and reinforcement at home. Both what they studied in Bible class and what the preacher talked about in the sermon are easy points of spiritual engagement, even for children. Parents and children praying together with reading or sharing a Bible story creates a spiritual bond. Frame life’s teaching moments as living for God, much like in Deuteronomy 6:7-9. Possibly the two worst approaches are parents saying nothing about God or church in the home, and the parents who say disparaging words in front of the children about church. Both are spiritual killers.
Children spot the hypocrisy. It doesn’t take long for them to see how much or how little Christ means to their parents. A child was once sitting next to his father during the sermon, having an epiphany, turned to him and said, “Hey Dad! He’s talking about you.” All parents have that moment. The child spots the inconsistency and innocently draws attention to the parents’ flaw. The real question is, what happens next?
“People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.’’ (Mk. 10:13-14)
Soli Deo Gloria!
(i.e., only God is glorified!)