Category: Prayer

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When God Says No

Months ago I prayed, asking, if not begging, God to intervene. I wasn’t the only one praying, you probably were too as it seemed everyone was “all hands on deck” in prayer. Our co-worker and friend, Amy, suffered a massive heart-attack and the moment she was taken to SOMC her outlook was without hope. But we prayed. When she was life-flighted to Columbus, we prayed. When she was taken into surgery, we prayed. When the doctors needed to perform more surgery, we prayed again. Though each step taken looked bleak, we prayed. We prayed until God came through to heal Amy from her wounds. We shouted on the mountains, “God cured Amy!” Since that day I haven’t stopped thanking God for his healing power. We believe in prayer, because we believe God listens to our prayer. We believe in prayer because we believe God acts on our prayers.

About the time we were praying for Amy, Cile and I were praying for a young man who, in a freak accident, suffered a concussion. He was on his skateboard engaging with neighborhood children and performing moves he’s made his entire life. Except this time he wiped out and hit his head. He hit his head hard. His brain swelled and was rushed to the hospital. We prayed for him because his wife needed her husband, and his small children needed their daddy. Since the accident Cile and I have prayed, but the man has not been healed. Not totally. We still believe in prayer, because we believe God listens to our prayers. We believe in prayer because we believe God acts on our prayers. But sometimes I wish, oh how I wish, God always answered my prayers like he answered the ones for Amy. 

Praying is hard. Praying is the temporary stepping into the eternal. Mind blowing, isn’t it? Finding the right words is a challenge in and of itself, but having the faith to believe the words spoken? Yea hard. Believing the spoken words actually reaches the throne room of God is a tall order, especially when it feels like God’s not listening, or when he does, he says, “No.” They say “Prayer is the key to heaven, but its faith that unlocks the door.” And there may be some truth to it, but let’s be honest, beyond all the clichés, prayer is hard.

If prayer is humanity engaging the Divine, then there is a sense of wonder to the moment, a wonder that needs to be left unexplored but simply experienced. For instance, I know God listens to our prayers. I know God acts from prayer. I do not know how or why God chooses to respond the way he does with specific prayers. Sometimes he says yes. Sometimes he says no. And sometimes, I’m just not sure what is going on either in heaven or on earth. And that is ok too, because we aren’t supposed to know all things. Nor should we trivialize life and God with trite answers. Instead, we sit in wonder of the One who does know all things and in whom we’ve placed our trust.

Paul found himself at the cross roads of prayer. The one prayer path he wanted to walk led him to healing. The other path led to God denying his request for healing. Here is where he found himself. Paul was asking, but God was denying. Three times Paul asked, petitioned, and begged God to heal him. But God said no, wrapping his denial in grace.

God said “no” to Paul,
                even though he was an apostle of Christ;
God said “no” to Paul,
                even though Paul felt like he was being sliced and diced.
God said “no” to Paul,
                as if the apostle was a normal person like you and me;
God said “no” to Paul,
                because God spread forth his grace, which was always free.
God said “no” to Paul,
                in hopes that the apostle would lean on God’s strength, and not his own;
God said “no” to Paul,
               for the apostle did not have the strength to face his role alone.
God said “no” to Paul,
                even though the apostle begged God to remove the thorn not once or twice, but
thrice;
God said “no” to Paul,
                just like God had to say “no” three times to his own Son, the Christ.
God said “no” to Paul,
                because sometimes God must set some boundaries,
                even when the apostle finds the answer profoundly unease.
 

What drove Paul to his knees was the aftermath of a vision and revelation. In fact, he uses the plural which leads us to believe the apostle experienced more than one vision and revelation (2 Cor. 12:1). The description of what he saw or heard was inexpressible. He had no words and admits that he cannot explain what exactly happened. Was it an inner body experience or did he step out of himself, he didn’t know. What he knew was that he was taken to heaven where he saw and heard things he never should have witnessed.

If the song says, “I can only imagine,” I’m here to tell you that whatever Paul experienced is beyond our ability to comprehend. There are no words. What is more, the encounter left Paul the walking wounded. As much as Paul does not reveal to us what he experienced in heaven, he also fails to explain his wounded-ness. We don’ know what Paul struggled with, but it’s safe to say the Corinthians did because they had known Paul face-to-face. What is very clear is the link between what Paul experienced to what he has had to endure. But maybe the best way to understand Paul is to step back and hear the entire argument.

Paul has been backed into a corner by a group who have self-promoted themselves and boasted about a slew of qualities. One of them may be their experience with visions and revelations. Paul does everything he can to avoid such an argument, but alas he chooses to step into the ring and go mono-emono with the antagonists.* Only he chooses to change the conditions of the debate.

First, he speaks in the third person. Speaking as if he knows someone who experienced the visions and revelations, Paul deflects some of the attention that is on him. His decision to boast in the third person leads him to pivot at 12:7 to begin speaking in the first person. So Paul knew a man “caught up into heaven,” but to keep himself humble Paul is given a “thorn in the flesh.” Thus, the man Paul knew who was caught up into heaven and then given the thorn in the flesh, was Paul himself.

Secondly, Paul is wounded from his experiences, to which he never does quite recover. To counter Paul’s remarkable experiences, God gave him a thorn to inflict enough discomfort in Paul to keep him grounded. God did not want Paul’s experience to go to his head and produce a prideful, haughty spirit. To keep him humble, God allowed a messenger from Satan to torment his apostle. Paul asked for healing, while God provided humility.

I can see Paul now going to God in prayer. I can hear his words form into arguments as to why this “thorn in the flesh” needs removed. It was like an anchor dragging him through the sand. He can do more. He can be more effective. He can get more accomplished. The “thorn” is holding him back from productivity and effectiveness. He can go farther and longer if only this “thorn” was removed. I feel like I understand Paul, as God has told me “no” so many times before.

For fifteen years I prayed that God would lift the black cloud of depression from me. The darkness was often heavy and took me to deep black holes where hope’s light never pieced. I prayed to God to redeem me, to rescue me, and to release me from my burden. God never answered me, while I did take comfort in the answer to Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness” (12:9).

About the fifteenth year, with the “no’s” piled as high as the Empire State Building, I began to change my prayer request. Instead of removing my own thorn, I asked God to give me the strength to endure depression. I asked him for a power outside of myself to navigate through the darkness so that I may find the light. Slowly. Little by little. I kept praying and moving forward. While I’ve never completely exited the darkness, I’ve come a long way. God did say “no” to one prayer, but in doing so, he said “yes” to something else. That something else was his grace. A grace to keep moving forward despite the baggage I carried. And ultimately, isn’t God’s grace enough?

We believe in prayer, because we believe God listens to our prayers. We believe in prayer because we believe God acts on our prayers. We believe in prayer because we believe in God. We believe in prayer even when God says “no,” for the times he does say “no,” God always gives his grace. Always.

Soli Deo Gloria!
(i.e., only God is glorified!)

*Technically, Paul does not take on the antagonists directly. Paul argues and debates with his church members, not the outside influencers who have led them astray.

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I Prayed for Ukraine

I prayed for Ukraine
When the Soviet Union fell, folded, divided, and dissolved,
Giving the people more power and resolve;|
ndependence and freedom were ushered into the toast of a champaign.

I prayed for Ukraine
When the spiritually dry, barren, and parched Soviet lands
Received fresh water from the Savior with pierced hands;
Missionaries persuaded the locals to come to the Jesus who reigns.

I prayed for Ukraine
The day my brother and his wife traveled to an orphanage in Aackabo to adopt their son,
And when they saw that the boy was wearing a Snoopy t-shirt, they knew he was the one;
My nephew was chosen as if the moment was somehow pre-ordained.

I prayed for Ukraine
When an untested President was accused of corruption – a victim of being coerced –
And was threatened: “Play our game or the allocated monies for defense won’t be dispersed.”  
As his reputation was tarnished and maligned, he was recipient of the world’s disdain.

I prayed for Ukraine
When Russia began its invasion on the pretext of lies;
With buildings being bombed and cities facing undeniable demise;
Refugees fleeing their home, maybe forever, while saying their goodbyes
To the fighting men – their sons, their husbands, and their fathers – amid their tears and cries;
Their food, water, and clothing all in short supplies.
Death hovers like a vulture circling the brave soldiers and innocent civilians caught in the cross-fires,
While on the fringes – at the borders to avoid escalation – are waiting and watching the allies; 
The world saw an untested President refusing to flee, heroically calling his nation to rise,

Hoping that someone in power can put an end to this refrain,

I prayed for Ukraine’s enemies,
The Russian soldiers were told they were liberating the people
Because Putin’s invasion is far from legal,
Where the Imago Dei, instead of gathering in a warzone, should be gathered under a steeple;
For Jesus calls us to be fully stretched and pray for all, including those who are as trustworthy as a weasel;
Calling us through prayer that peace may come from the greatest of the Supremacies.

I prayed for Ukraine.

Solo Deo Gloria!
(i.e., only God is glorified!)

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Finding the Words: What to Say when Anxeity, Fear & Despair Drive Your Prayers

Prayer is always a struggle. On the one hand, you come before the Almighty, and even if you have an exhaustive vocabulary, finding the right words is like trying to find a plaid shirt to match striped pants. On the other hand, Jesus frowns upon prayers defaulting to clichés (Mt. 6:7), especially in public where people are only seeking man’s applause. The struggle to say the right words is real when one begins to pray.

But the words are only part of the problem, especially in times of great emotional distress. In those seasons, reason takes a back seat to feelings. We sense we’re alone, vulnerable and estranged from God. What is happening around us – or within us – seem bigger and stronger than the God who protects. And our prayers and prayer-life often become casualties of the war.

While the Psalms are often associated with praise, they do not fail to embrace the suffering. God deserves and welcomes our adoration. God also listens, even more intently, when his people lament, agonize and weep, especially when such emotions are directed toward him. Like a child coming home from a bad day at school to find solace on the lap and in the arms of the parent, God is just as welcoming to us.

Two questions surface, expressed by the sufferer in the Psalms, may hold the key to finding a way to express ourselves to God during times. When the storm is raging, or when the hole feels like a bottomless pit, the Psalms give us the words to frame our prayers.

The first question is “why.” Appearing in Psalm 22:1, the Psalmist tries to understand the distance created between himself and God. Most notably, the cry is recited by Jesus on the cross, possibly validating such a plea. Delving behind the source of suffering is to discover the reason for the anguish, which then validates the sufferer. So if I can figure out “why I am experiencing the affliction,” it will make the suffering easier – such reasoning is expressed. But the reason for suffering is far greater than one simple explanation. Not only do we live in a complicated world/universe, but God’s not always willing to explain our suffering to us (e.g. story of Job). In part, we couldn’t comprehend everything involved in it anyway. Ultimately, knowing the “why” will not change the agonizing situation. You’re free to ask “why,” but it’s unlikely God will grant you the answer you’re seeking. Even God was eerily quiet while his Son suffered his death.

The second question is “how long.” Surfacing throughout Scripture, such as Psalm 23:1-2, it’s a far clearer question to ask. Even this psalmist asks it four times. The “how long” question steers us away from an over simplified explanation behind the suffering, to the duration of the grieving. This question embraces suffering as part of our witness, but wants to know when the agony will end. God’s people are called to embrace suffering because Jesus suffered (Rom. 8:17; 1 Pet. 2:21). Our concern is beyond the “why” but to “how long” we must endure before God steps in.

My own struggle to pray when it’s either storming without or pitched black hole from within has been evident. Historically, my gut has always gone to the “why” and have often walked away in continual turmoil. I come to God believing that somehow I deserve an answer from him, much like Job. In recent times I gone with “how long.” It’s helped shift my focus. Instead of defaulting to being self-serving, it’s allowed me to suffer in step with Jesus. Not only has it brought more peace to my life, but it’s also given me a framework to find the words.   

Soli Deo Gloria!
(i.e. only God is glorified!)

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A Prayer Conversation

I prayed to God,
“Let me do great things for you!  Let me proclaim your Word to the people.”
God said to me,
“Good!  Go to the nursing home; I could use someone down there.”
I thought,
“I don’t see much greatness in that.”

I prayed to God,
“Let my life be a platform for your glory!”
God said to me,
“Gladly!  The local school needs a volunteer to mentor a struggling student.” 
I thought,
“That’s not much of a platform.”

I prayed to God,
“Let me minister to the people.”
God said to me,
“Wonderful!  The elderly gentleman down the street needs a ride to the doctor. 
Why not volunteer to give him a ride?” 
I thought,
“I don’t know; he’s disabled and kinda has an odor.”

I prayed to God,
“Let me be a beacon of purity to clean up this world!”
God said to me,
“Good idea!  Your neighbor needs someone to clean her house.  Why not start
there?”
I thought,
“I wasn’t quite thinking of that kind of cleaning.”

I prayed to God,
“Let me speak to a ‘standing room only’ crowd!”|
God said to me,
“Great!  Go teach a Bible class down at the jail. They have 20 willing inmates with
only 15 chairs.” 
I thought,
“I wanted the room to be a lot bigger.” 

I prayed to God,
“Let this church be a point of gravity for our community!” 
God said to me,
“Sure!  See that visitor over there with the ragged clothes and prison record? 
Make them feel like they are at home.” 
I thought,
“Not really the kind of people I want at this church.”

I prayed to God,
“Why doesn’t anything big ever happen in my life where you get the glory?”
God said to me,
“I don’t know.”
I thought,
“Me neither.”

Soli Deo Gloria!
(i.e. only God is glorified!)

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Spiritual Disciplines Everyone Can Do

Spirituality in a person’s life can be difficult to balance and to manage. We believe the giants of faith can walk on water, move mountains, or are beyond temptation. But everyone fights in the battle. Everyone struggles with sin. Everyone lives with the scars. While everyone drinks from the spiritual wells, some wells are deeper than others. So the question might be, how can we deepen the wells we drink from to enrich our spiritual life? Here are some common suggestions anyone can do to improve their spiritual walk with God.

● Worship . . . The Church gathers every week to worship God and to break bread. While together we sing, pray, give, commune at the Table, and are encouraged and challenged by exhortations from God’s Word. Because it’s an assembly, accountability and fellowship is built into this one hour. Unfortunately, church and the church gatherings have been devalued and even attacked; it’s often viewed as irrelevant. However, for spiritual purposes, never underestimate the discipline and value of spending Sunday with God and with each other.

● Prayer . . . From the simple prayer before a meal to the quiet time you spend with God, prayer allows us a direct line to God. We can share, not only our struggles and pains, but our dreams and visions too. It’s really about a relationship with God, and he wants us to come to him with no pretense (Mt. 6:7). We can talk to God and open up about our lives. We can approach him in full confidence knowing that he will not reject us because he wants to have a relationship with us.

● Fasting . . . Of all the spiritual disciplines, fasting has probably taken the biggest hit. Who wants to go without eating? The value of fasting is the discipline of saying “no” to your body for something it wants but doesn’t need. Most of us have conditioned our bodies to get hungry at a certain time when the truth is what we experience is “false hunger pains.” Paul talks about making his body a slave (1 Cor. 9:27) so that he can avoid his body enslaving him on its desires. While many people cannot fast an entire day or a few days, one can skip meals, limit snacks, or even limit fluid to juices.

● Confession . . . They say “confession is good for the soul.” They may be right. Getting things “off our chest” helps lighten the load, and makes our burdens easier to bear. James links confession with prayer (5:16) telling us that the two disciplines work in tandem with each other. We confess to each other and pray for one another.

● Serving . . . While volunteering has taken a hit lately, finding ways to give back to the community, the church and/or to God takes attention off of self and places it onto others. It’s a way to empty ourselves so that we can keep our own selfishness at bay. More so, secretly doing service keeps our motives in check.

● Reading . . . We live in a time where more volumes have been written than we’ve previously known, but fewer people are reading. An amazing paradox stands that the most common way God has revealed himself has been through his written word, and yet we don’t like to read. Beyond prayer, the simplest way to encounter God every day is to open up our Bibles and begin reading. While we’re in the mood to read, why not look at the ocean of books, periodicals and blogs put out there on a regular basis. While a lot of stuff published isn’t worth the time or effort, much of it is. Find or ask someone you respect where the good stuff to read is.

● Generosity . . . As we continue to look outside of ourselves, being generous reminds us that we do not own the material things but that we’re stewards of the resources God has given us. In order for money to lose its control over our lives (1 Tim. 6:10), money must be viewed as a means for ministry not as a stockpile for wealth. By letting go we’re building trust in God that he’ll take care of our needs and use us to bless others.

By no means are these the only spiritual disciplines for our lives. Echoing the Hebrews writer (Heb. 11:32), I don’t have time to talk about joy, quiet time, role of music, simplicity, and more. However, these are good starting blocks to develop your spiritual walk with God. They only demand what you’re willing to give, but what they give back will deepen the spiritual wells you drink from.

Soli Deo Gloria!
(only God is glorified!)