Prayer is always a struggle. On the one hand, you come before the Almighty, and even if you have an exhaustive vocabulary, finding the right words is like trying to find a plaid shirt to match striped pants. On the other hand, Jesus frowns upon prayers defaulting to clichés (Mt. 6:7), especially in public where people are only seeking man’s applause. The struggle to say the right words is real when one begins to pray.
But the words are only part of the problem, especially in times of great emotional distress. In those seasons, reason takes a back seat to feelings. We sense we’re alone, vulnerable and estranged from God. What is happening around us – or within us – seem bigger and stronger than the God who protects. And our prayers and prayer-life often become casualties of the war.
While the Psalms are often associated with praise, they do not fail to embrace the suffering. God deserves and welcomes our adoration. God also listens, even more intently, when his people lament, agonize and weep, especially when such emotions are directed toward him. Like a child coming home from a bad day at school to find solace on the lap and in the arms of the parent, God is just as welcoming to us.
Two questions surface, expressed by the sufferer in the Psalms, may hold the key to finding a way to express ourselves to God during times. When the storm is raging, or when the hole feels like a bottomless pit, the Psalms give us the words to frame our prayers.
The first question is “why.” Appearing in Psalm 22:1, the Psalmist tries to understand the distance created between himself and God. Most notably, the cry is recited by Jesus on the cross, possibly validating such a plea. Delving behind the source of suffering is to discover the reason for the anguish, which then validates the sufferer. So if I can figure out “why I am experiencing the affliction,” it will make the suffering easier – such reasoning is expressed. But the reason for suffering is far greater than one simple explanation. Not only do we live in a complicated world/universe, but God’s not always willing to explain our suffering to us (e.g. story of Job). In part, we couldn’t comprehend everything involved in it anyway. Ultimately, knowing the “why” will not change the agonizing situation. You’re free to ask “why,” but it’s unlikely God will grant you the answer you’re seeking. Even God was eerily quiet while his Son suffered his death.
The second question is “how long.” Surfacing throughout Scripture, such as Psalm 23:1-2, it’s a far clearer question to ask. Even this psalmist asks it four times. The “how long” question steers us away from an over simplified explanation behind the suffering, to the duration of the grieving. This question embraces suffering as part of our witness, but wants to know when the agony will end. God’s people are called to embrace suffering because Jesus suffered (Rom. 8:17; 1 Pet. 2:21). Our concern is beyond the “why” but to “how long” we must endure before God steps in.
My own struggle to pray when it’s either storming without or pitched black hole from within has been evident. Historically, my gut has always gone to the “why” and have often walked away in continual turmoil. I come to God believing that somehow I deserve an answer from him, much like Job. In recent times I gone with “how long.” It’s helped shift my focus. Instead of defaulting to being self-serving, it’s allowed me to suffer in step with Jesus. Not only has it brought more peace to my life, but it’s also given me a framework to find the words.
Soli Deo Gloria!
(i.e. only God is glorified!)