PBPWMGINFWMY – is an acronym for “Please Be Patient With Me God Is Not Finished With Me Yet.” The slogan began picking up steam and made its way around churches through buttons, posters, and bumper stickers about the time Gene and Esther started dating. Maybe, just maybe, PBPWMGINFWMY foreshadowed some things to come.
The acronym slogan makes two pleas: First, I am able to grow and even change as I’m not the same person today as I was yesterday. Secondly, will you extend to me the grace and time to change? The slogan is not an excuse for behavior, but a promise – with God’s help – to continue to work toward being a better version of yourself. Gene seemed to capture the essence of this slogan.
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Scripture is clear that God, not only calls us where we are, but that God also expects us to change our behavior, our thoughts, and our disposition so that we reflect Jesus in all areas of our lives. The Apostle Paul labels this process as Formed, Conformed, and Transformed.
● Formed > Galatians 4:19 says that Paul is sticking by his Galatian churches while they struggle against the legalism being imposed on them by outside forces. He’ll walk with them “until Christ is formed in them.” Obeying rules may provide guard rails, but will not change us until God begins forming Christ in us.
● Conformed > Romans 8:29 has Paul making a beautiful declaration that God is working for the good of those called according to his purpose, and those he called are counted on to “conform to the likeness of Christ.” The expectation is clear as we are to be shaped in such a way that everything about us looks like Jesus.
● Transformed > 2 Corinthians 3:18 says the external markers of Christianity are not what
God is looking for in us. However, as we engage God, his glorious radiance begins emitting from within us, coupled with the working of the Holy Spirit, we are then “being transformed into Christ’s likeness.”
The call goes forth, but too many of us ignore it like water crashing over hearts of stone. We justify our pattern of sinfulness: our anger, manipulation tactics, pride & arrogance, shallow understanding of who God is, as the spiritual denial and smugness oozes from within. In our shame we compare ourselves to others and hide behind our sin by saying, “We’re just not that bad.”
So many of us who grew up in church have failed to take seriously God’s call. Surveys continue to show that those of us who are “Churched” are no different, morally or ethically, from the “Unchurched.” We have blurred the line between believers and non-believers, so that we make no difference in the world resulting in God’s power becoming impotent. All the time the world sits back confused in wonder instead of being mesmerized by wonder.
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Enter Gene Crisp, an unbeliever who in 1978 was described by the family as being harsh, impatient, indifferent, unappreciative, and even unconcerned about the people around him. But this unbeliever ran into a force he had to reckon with when he met the believer, Esther.
Their introduction was by two teenage friends, Henry and Dave. The boys, sons of Esther and Gene, seeing something in each parent, devised their own Parent Trap to get them together. But there was a hitch, as this was real life and not a Disney movie: Gene was not a Christian and Esther was not interested in being unequally yoked to a non-believer. To her credit, not only did she have her faith to consider, but her children as well. Out of the boys’ hands, and even out of Esther’s hands, God began to act. God worked through Esther so that Gene might be Formed, Conformed, and Transformed.
Gene was willing to study with Esther, and was open to being mentored by people like Harry Woodsworth. All this fell in line with a man who could see discipleship as an extension of his own discipline. From the guy who chose to eat spam and an oatmeal cream cookie for lunch. Every. Single. Day. Choosing that instead of Esther’s cooking. Or the fact that he went to bed every night at 11:00 – and sent everyone else to bed too. This discipline kicked in and he studied with Esther and he began buying into what she was selling. By 1981 Gene was a Christian man marrying a Christian woman.
But change wasn’t easy, because change, if it were to happen, is never easy. Gene and Esther were blending two families while figuring out how to follow Jesus. It was hard, harder than any of us ever realized. But Esther’s patient strength won out Gene – for the woman he loved helped him transform into the Gene we know today.
Gene credits his transformation to the respect he had for Esther. In a journal connected to a men’s class at church, discovered by his family and was composed some ten years in after his wedding day, Gene made clear the source of his change. In his own words, he writes,
“My moral, spiritual, relational standard has been affected greatly with the help and guidance of my wife, Esther.”
Or this one:
“What I would put on my tombstone is not what I think but what others think of me. It
would be nice if someone put on my tombstone, ‘Here lies the body of Gene Crisp,
his soul has gone to heaven.’”
And finally, this one:
“My Esther has influenced me for the better, my whole outlook on life has been
completely turned around. I now give more thought to my answer and more of a
Christian response in all my actions, thanks to her evidence in my quest to live a
Christian life.”
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When I think of Gene, I won’t think about his love of Candy Corn, or his fifteen minute of heroic fame at the end of World War II, or his kind smile when he played with a small child. No, I’ll remember him sitting by Esther’s side at SOMC while his bride was recovering from a fall. While he sat by her side he gently held her hand, patting the top of it. I didn’t know then, but I know now that I was witnessing the end product of God working through Esther to Form, Conform, and Transform Gene so that . . .
his harshness gave way to gentleness,
his impatience surrendered to patience,
his indifferent submitted to compassion,
his un-appreciativeness conceded to thankfulness,
and his unconcerned mindset yielded to a caring man.
It’s a good thing that PBPWMGINFWMY can be applied to Gene, because of that we’ll always remember him as a truly changed man.