The Psalmist cries out to God by making a bold and daring plea. He begs him to search his heart, to try him by putting him to the test. He calls for God to know his own motives, whether they are true of false (Ps. 139:23-24). Such a request, if honest to its core, exposes the person before God. Such a petition not only bears oneself to God, but to his/her own self as well.
The ability to evaluate ourselves, opening and honestly, is a skill underdeveloped in so many. Are we really in touch with our own feelings, motives and agendas? Probably not. We hide them. We cover them up. We shield them from attacks. Defensively, we divert attention from ourselves by finger pointing at others. Self-awareness is not one of our best qualities.
At the end of the Sermon on the Mount (Mt. 5-7), Jesus shares a judgment scene with his listeners. Many on that day will believe they’re in step with God’s will since they prophesied, drove out demons and performed multiple miracles. Yet, God will claim he never knew them, casting them out by labeling them as “evil doers” (Mt. 7:21-23). The tension between what these people were doing versus who they were is felt like the buzz sensation of touching a hot wire. How could one be so right and so wrong at the same time? A lack of self-awareness may be the key.
As if Matthew 7 was foreshadowing a second judgment scene, Jesus depicts this one in chapter 25 with a twist. Here he divides everyone into two groups. The group he calls “sheep” are the ones who responded to his needs when they encountered him, while the one he calls “goats” ignored his plight. While neither group recognized his presence, for surely if we saw Jesus they’d (or we’d) respond to his needs, Jesus said, “Whatever you did for the least of these you did for me” (Mt. 25:40,45). While the so-called “sheep” and the “goats” were unaware of the spiritual ramifications for their actions or lack thereof, their response to the needs before them is rooted in their own self-awareness. One group was willing to think of those living without and to try and fill those needs, while the others only selfishly thought of themselves. They were blinded by and unaware of their own self-centeredness.
We have an impression of ourselves, which doesn’t always line up with how others view us and rarely lines up with God’s perception of us. Time and time again, the Scripture calls for introspection and to become aware of our own self. Jesus tells about the two men who went up to the temple to pray (Lk. 18:9-14). One was very aware of his sin, while the other’s self-awareness was almost nil. When Peter boldly proclaimed that he’d go to the cross with Jesus, his own lack of self-awareness was confronted by Jesus’ prophecy of denying him that very night (Lk. 22:33-34). The rub of the Pharisees and teachers of the law (Lk. 15:1) that Jesus’ was willingly welcoming and eating with the “sinners” demonstrates how they lack such self-awareness (i.e. were they themselves without sin?).
We see it today. A piece of the puzzle is missing, and everyone notices except the person with the puzzle. Spoken words and body language convey either arrogance and pride or self-pity. We attack other positions and territory with fierceness while glossing over or ignoring our very own positions and territory. We cut in line. We’re rude to the waitress. We refuse to comply with simple instructions all while losing respect from our peers. And only God knows what goes through his mind.
On more than one occasion I have spoken to my children, and even to Cile, in harsh tones. While I thought I was simply communicating information, before Cile interrupts me to simply ask, “Can you hear the tone of your voice right now?” The fact is, I’m very self-unaware of how I carry myself and the messages I send. And the truth be known, so are you.
Scripture speaks to awakening our self-awareness, though not all in one place. Paul tells the Philippians to strip away the pretense by avoiding selfish ambition or vain conceit, and then to consider others better than their-self (Phil. 2:3). James tells us that we have two ears and one mouth for a reason (Jas. 1:19-20), so try doing more active listening (to understand) and less talking (to make others understand). Jesus warns about adopting the pagan/Gentile form of leadership which is to exercise power and authority over people (Mk. 10:42). Instead, he tells us to serve the ones “below us,” for Jesus modeled such behavior even willing to give up his own life (Mk. 10:43-45).
Self-awareness may very well be a spiritual trait. The ability to view one’s self with a proper and biblical perspective shows maturity, the kind of which God honors. And ultimately, only God’s perspective matters, which is something to be self-aware of.
Soli Deo Gloria!
(i.e., only God is glorified!)